i've had an epiphany.

okay, not really. this isn't some magical thing that just popped into my head. it's obviously something that everyone knows, or SHOULD know, anyway. and that is that no matter what happens, no matter how many times you get shit on by someone, and no matter how unfair you get treated, always be the better person. growing up, my parents always told me to treat people with respect (even though i didn't always have the easiest time doing that, sorry mom and dad. :P), be nice to people even if i didn't like them, and to not do anything to another person that i wouldn't want done to myself. not going to lie, i've definitely felt like i've been treated really shitty by people lately, and it's driven me to the point of tears on more than one occasion. i've spent many hours and many a sleepless night just wondering why or how a person could be so outwardly mean to another person. i've basically given up trying to understand why other people do these things, because i will never understand. one thing i do understand though, is it's not my fault. i didn't do anything to deserve it. and i'm not going to do anything to deserve it either. i'm a firm believer in whatever goes around, comes around. so i'm just going to keep trying my best to be an example of how people should treat others. i'm not trying to sound like a saint, because i'm not. i don't even necessarily consider myself a good person. i'm just trying to make everyone else's lives a little less crazy and complicated, and if i can do that by just smiling or being a good friend, then i'm all for it. that's all for now. until next time... peace and blessings. :)


-kate.

swirlies in my light fixture.

so i wouldn't necessarily say i'm in one of my "upper moods"... but i'm not in a bad mood at the moment. :) which is a really good thing! i was making a sincere attempt to finish an assignment for my composition class but i just don't understand it so i don't really want to keep spending time on it when i could be doing it totally wrong. i was so smart in high school and now i get to college and i feel dumb. lol go figure. anyway, let's see... what have i got going on... nothing really. my day was pretty boring. i had class this morning and then went to work right after. today marks the 3rd day that i've worked in a row. i think that is a record, because tomorrow i work AGAIN. then i don't work until sunday. it's going to be SO nice to just come home from class and not have to do a damn thing. i predict there's gonna be a massive amount of nappage going on in my big comfy bed. :) :) not to get off topic or anything, but this bed is the most comfortable thing i've ever slept on except for my dog's bed. wtf. i'm weird. ha anyway, back on topic. actually, just kidding. i don't even remember what i was talking about and to be quite honest going back and sifting through all this text is just more effort than i want to exert right now. #lazywin. this is the most random blog post to date that i have ever written. i can't decide if that is funny or just kind of sad. no matter... i guess my mood just keeps getting better as i write more because a mixture of my humor that only i get sometimes and my stupidity is just cracking me up. :D my turn to cook family dinner this week with my friends! i'm busting out my inner latina chica and cooking some mexican foods like my grandma makes. in case you guys didn't know, i'm half mexican. although i kinda go around flaunting it. like i'm pretty sure everyone that knows me decently well knows that i'm mexican. anyway, i'm planning on making enchiladas (mainly because that was requested.. enchiladas aren't typically a "traditional" mexican meal that my grandma would make), fried tacos (a variation of normal tacos, obviously, but with ground beef, little chunks of potato, in a tortilla and then friend in vegetable oil! soooo delicious), pico de gallo (tomato, onion, cilantro, jalapeño peppers, and lime juice!) guacamole, (mabes), and homemade tortillas hopefully. as far as family dinners go here in kato, i think that my meal is going to be the most elaborate that we've had so far.. my trophy is coming in the mail. heeeeells yeah. well... i think that for the sake of ongoing ranting about nothing, i am going to end this rando blog post...... AQUI. 


much love. :)


~kates.

even on my weakest days i get a little bit stronger.

i swear to god i am bi-polar. or maybe i'm just extremely hormonal. who the fuck knows. either way, my mood swings are giving me a bit of emotional whiplash. earlier today, i was so stinking happy. if i had seen someone walking around campus being as giddy as i was, i probably would have walked up to them and smacked them because those types of people annoy me. and now, i'm in my pissy poor me mood. what the hell? what brought this on? i guess i don't know what it is these days that is making me so happy. i really am blessed to have such a wonderful family and really amazing friends... but something just feels like it's missing. while i do absolutely love my friends that i've made here in kato, i just miss the familiarity of the ones back home. or the ones that i've known for years... there's always just stuff that you need someone who really knows you to talk to about, because they're the only ones who understand you, or can give you advice. here, i don't trust anyone THAT much yet. it really sucks having two of your best friends living far away. i mean, my best friend esra lives 4321 miles away. it's a little hard to find times that we can talk, but we make it work. my other best friend lauren lives like 20 minutes away. i have a bunch of people i call my best friends.. i use the term pretty loosely because it is so hard to just have ONE best friend. (lol love you all). so it's not that far, but it's hard for her to make time to come see me or anything because she's so busy with all her school stuff. she's just a popular little thing. :') lol love her. anyway, i don't blame them for being busy or for living so far away, it's just me being selfish like usual. what else is new? i just need someone to talk to that i know i can trust. that's all. i guess just certain things are really confusing me right now and i really just wish i could figure out the answers to all my problems. unfortunately, life's a bitch, and people are too. it's not that easy to figure out what is going on and why it is happening that way and why people do certain things to you or say certain things or act a certain way. at the end of the day, i still think life is a mystery. you never know why anything happens and you may never understand why it happens. but all that matters is that it IS happening, and you gotta learn to make the best of a shitty situation, quit being a baby and suck it up. it's something i'm slowly learning to do... very slowly. i still let the little things get to me sometimes, but i'm getting better. i need to get to bed, but i'll post again soon. perhaps when i'm in my upper mood. ;) much love!

-kates.

HOMEWARD BOUND

yes, it is true. i am coming home tonight. if i lived like 93284 miles away, it would probably be a bigger deal, but whatever. i haven't  been home for a few weeks now and i'm actually excited to go home and see my mommy and my baby brother and even my bird... haha. kato is like a second home to me, but no matter what happens, waseca will always be my one and only home. :) annnnyyywwaaay... there's a football game here today. don't think i'm going to be going though.. i feel like i'm getting sick and sitting out in the cold just doesn't sound the greatest right now. maybe next weekend! oh wait, nope. because i have to work. AWESOME SAUCE. no matter, i think i'm just gonna clean up the apartment then head out. i don't know why i started this post today. probably had the intention of writing something awesome or inspiring but it's just not coming to me today. i guess this is what we would call a free write then. nothing is weighing too heavy on my mind right now and that's good. :) loving kato more and more every day! i'm loving my classes (not all the homework though), definitely loving the parties, and my friends. i was so worried i was gonna be a loner here when i came over here just because i'm usually really shy around people i don't know. but when you move to a place where hardly anyone knows you, you are blessed with the opportunity to reinvent yourself. you can be anyone you want to be, because no one knows what you've done, who you've been with, what you were like before. it's actually a really great thing and i think i like who i have become since i moved. for the most part anyway. :) well, i better get to that cleaning now. the dishes aren't going to do themselves! although i seriously wish they would. fffffffffuuuuuuuuu-.... peace. and. blessings.


-kate.

to write is...

i find it incredibly hard to believe that i've been here in mankato for almost a month. it really doesn't feel like it has been that long. i guess time flies when you're having fun! (like writing essays the day before they're due is really fun... not doing that again. EVER. lesson learned.) anyway... earlier today i was in a really fantastic mood. i just got to thinking about how awesome my life is right now and how lucky i am to have made such good friends here in mankato. i just got home not too long ago from hot tubbing it up with jamie and the boys and had fun as always. that dick of a security guard really  needs to lay off patrol though, ha i think he might start to think he's really a cop or something. anyway, now that i'm back in my room in my apartment, i'm all by myself. that's when my mind really starts to wander.. i start thinking too much about things i really probably have no reason to be worried about and for the sake of not spilling all my dirty little secrets to whoever ends up reading this, we'll just leave it at that. well, actually, let's just say that i'm not exactly thrilled with the way some certain events have panned out, and i'm wishing that there was something i could do about it. but, like i always say, no sense dwelling on something you can't change, and ultimately have no control over. at the end of the day, no matter how many stupid choices i make, no matter how bad i screw up, i know that my friends have got my back, and you guys really have no idea how blessed i am to have you. :) even if you are all really weird. time to actually stick it to my homework now! i'll post again soon. oh, hey, t-minus 9 minutes until thursday... stay thirsty my friends. ;)

when you've got nothing else...

it's actually been quite a while since i've posted a blog. i apologize, although the two of you that actually follow my blog probably don't give a shit. :) tonight, was a good night. just like all the rest of my nights here in mankato. i moved out on august 19th, and although i miss my waseca home and friends and family, i absolutely love it here. i have come to find that making new friends would not be as hard as i thought it would be, and i have a group of people who is my kato family, and i love them all so much. lately i've been feeling a lot of pressure from my family to change who i am. not gonna lie to you, i've been drinking here in kato. i'm in college, get off my balls. it's not like i'm an alcoholic, i just like to party with my friends. no big d. but my family seems to think i've changed completely, and it's sadly just not the truth. i moved out for a reason. i wanted to make my own choices and live life for myself for once instead of constantly living up to someone else's standards. i'm not a loser, contrary to what my loving twin sister thinks. fortunately for me, i know the truth behind her words. she used to drink, and smoke and do whatever else. so it's not like i'm the only one who has ever done it. i'm just sick of feeling worthless to all my family. i guess at the end of the day, i'm glad my kato family has still got my back. and if my real family refuses to accept me for the way i am, they will. truth? yes. harsh? maybe. do i care. hell yeah i do. but it's just the way it is i guess. i love you jamie, grant, sammy, paul, allen, kristina, megan, alonna. <3 

perfectly imperfect.

lately i've been wondering a lot about why or how people can look at a person, and instantly judge them. i'm not going to lie to you guys, i have certainly done my fair share of hating on people because i thought they maybe weren't necessarily the most attractive, or the best dressed, or the nicest, or the smartest... you name it, i've probably talked about it, and you probably have too. said something about it, or thought it in your head. don't deny it. you have, everybody does, because that's how humans are. we are judgemental creatures, and it's our nature to make ourselves feel better by comparing ourselves to others. lately though, i've actually really thought a lot about how a person can take just one quick glance at someone, and decide whether they're worth talking to or getting to know. for example, a guy will like a girl, but the girl won't even give the guy the time of day because he doesn't have chisled abs, or bulging biceps. or maybe he just really isn't all that attractive. same thing goes for guys with girls. in my experience, most (NOT ALL) guys seem to gravitate towards the girls that wear skin tight clothes and push up bras to show off their otherwise almost non-existent boobs. i mean honestly, how often do you see a guy saying "damn... that girl has nice big EYES". it just doesn't happen. also, another thing i don't understand... is why people who are not like "you" are automatically "weird". NEWSFLASH. everyone is different in their own way, whether they like to go out and party all the time, or they get their kicks by sitting at home on a friday night watching movies by themselves. whether they like to dress in all black, or they wear ONLY what they can find on a hollister shelf or rack. (and in case you didn't notice... those sentences rhymed, unintentionally. i earned my gold star for the day. heck YESSSSSS.) maybe i'm really the only person i know of that doesn't judge people by what they look like. i'm not going to deny somebody the opportunity they deserve to be my friend just because they're fat, or ugly, or poorly dressed, or mentally or physically disabled. it absolutely INFURIATES me when i hear of someone telling me that a certain person isn't the kind of person i should start liking because they're not what i need in a boyfriend, or a friend or whatever. i can't even explain how much it angers me. especially when it is someone i consider myself to be close with. it is always disappointing when you find out that your closest friends or family members are judging your friends. i guess i don't anymore because i realized that it really doesn't matter. AT ALL. just because you're pretty or hot doesn't mean i want to be your friend. getting to know people is my favorite thing to do, i just love learning about other people and the way they think and what they think of certain things. i honestly couldn't care less how a person looks, or what they do in their free time, or if they're rich or poor, or smart or stupid or whatever. it just kills me to think that that's all that matters to some people... i'll take inner beauty over outer ANY DAY. and i would hope that all my friends are that way too. so this post is probably pretty "ranty" and redundant. i probably repeated myself a bajillion and two times, but did i get my point across? good. don't ever forget that whoever you are, boy or girl, white, black, asian, hispanic, fat, skinny, gorgeous, ugly, emo, preppy, whatever you are, you are beautiful just the way you are, and you are worth more than you will ever know. RANT=OVER. until next time... peace out. :)

boys lie and kind of stink.

it's official! i move into my apartment in less than a month! i'm so excited, if i could move there sooner i would. not necessarily to get away from waseca, but i'm just really eager to start getting adjusted to living on my own. sorry mom, i know you don't want me to leave. haha. well... i just recently decided something that hopefully will be beneficial to me in the long run. and that is: i am swearing off of guys. like, i do not intend to have any kind of relationship or "things" with any guys for a while. i have come to realize that they really only just seem to cause drama, and that is NOT something that i need in my first year of college. it's gonna be stressful enough without the extra help of some guy. since this is my blog, i am choosing to go off on a little rant for like the next 30 seconds. (depending on how fast you are able to read it). basically, i'm extremely uninterested in having a relationship with anyone. my last "relationship" meant nothing to me. it was so pointless, i think i just wanted to see what it was like to be in one. call me a bitch for doing it but i don't really care. :) and nooooow, when i kinda actually liked a guy... well let's just say that didn't work out. i spent a good eighteen years of my life without anyone, i think i can last a while longer without dating anyone. i think i can honestly say i am, for the most part, genuinely happy with where i'm at in life right now. i've got amazing family and friends, and that's all i need. so when i start school, i'm not saying i'm not going to be open to finding any guys worthy of dating. i'm just saying that i'm not going to be looking. i only need guy friends right now, nothing more. so there you go! my little rant. i hope you enjoyed reading it. well until next time. peace.

i wish i could read minds.

so i decided it might be a good idea to not wait like a month in between blog posts again... so i waited a day! woohoo! anyway... i guess this blog is going to be more of a rant than anything so if you don't like it, you suck! just kidding. :) anyway... it's not about anything specific necessarily. just in general: but have you ever had that moment where you think about something that happened WAAAAAY more than necessary?? i do. i do it all the dang time. i tend to over analyze certain situations, and not without good reason, mind you. i just sometimes think well why did this person do this? why'd they say that? did they mean what they said or are they just saying it just for the sake of saying something? sometimes things that happen mean more to me than i think they do for the other person and it's dumb, yo. but, such is life. in the meantime, i am just going to keep wandering. aimlessly, most likely trying to figure it all out. and that's all part of the great adventure is it not? we'll see what happens and if it's worth documenting. you'll know too. thanks for reading my somewhat-rant. until next time... peace.

your voice, was the soundtrack of my summer...

wow, it's been such a long time since i've made a new blog... i'd feel worse if i knew people were actually reading it. ha! well anyways, not too much has happened since my last blog post. i graduated high school, had my college orientation, signed up for classes, and continue to buy things for my apartment! (my total money spent is pretty damn close to 400 dollars just since summer started. i'll be a broke college student before i know it! fffffffuuuuuuuu-... other than that, i haven't really been up to much! such is the life of boring little old me. basically my summer consists of babysitting two girls for like eight or nine hours a day, everyday. it gets old but it's money... which i proceed to spend on my apartment. *sigh* on a side note, I'M SO HACKIN' EXCITED TO MOVE OUT:) today's the 16th, so that means i'll be moving out in just a little over a month. hard to believe that i'll be living on my own in just a short amount of time! i guess i should really find a job then, huh... crap. i'll be looking but for now i'm just going to enjoy what's left of my summer, which really isn't that much. i've thoroughly enjoyed most of my summer though, i can honestly say. of course some things that i have done i look back and i'm like WHYYYY did i do that... but everything happens for a reason? i'm still trying to figure out that reason... i  can be so friggin' stupid sometimes. i swear. well anyhow, i've met a lot of interesting people since i've been out of school, which only makes me more excited to meet people at college! (and by people i mean guys... preferably ones that play football or wrestle... and that like country music). totally kidding! (not really). well...........this blog is pretty random. and not really all that entertaining to read! sorry, i'll come up with something better soon. until then, peace out friends.

impressions.

so my choir teacher was talking today about how in all the years she's been teaching, she still wonders if she's left any kind of lasting impression on anyone. personally, i love her. most of the kids that i know of claim to hate her. but all throughout high school, she has ALWAYS been my favorite teacher, except for a couple others. (this fact could very well be due to the fact that i redefine choir nerd...) but no matter, she has left a very positive impact on my life, and i will never forget her for as long as i live. she has taught me so many life lessons like to not be afraid to show my true personality, and to not be ashamed or shy about my talents and to use them to make others happy. but anyway, it got me thinking: have i even left a lasting impression on anyone's life? i mean i have only been alive a short eighteen years. but if i were to die tomorrow, would anyone remember anything about me in five years? ten years? twenty? i don't want to leave this world without making a positive difference in someone's life. i want to know that i helped someone in some way.. in any way. i try to do something every day that can be helpful.. but of course we all fall short sometimes. anyway, if you're reading this, i hope i have impacted your life in a positive way. i want to live a life worth remembering. :)


peace & blessings, kate. ♥

every day.

every day is the start of something beautiful. i wonder what beautiful thing started today... one beautiful thing that happened for me today is i stayed home and slept ALL DAY. i have no idea why, but last night i didn't sleep a wink. i just laid in bed all damn night wishing that i could just fall asleep. if i had thought about it then, i would've just gotten up and took a shot of nyquil to fall asleep. oh well, staying home was good. i went to sextet practice then just came home, made myself some breakfast then went right to bed. i really didn't do much else the rest of the day... although right now i do need to go make a crib sheet for my astronomy test tomorrow because my teacher is a douche and will still probably make me take the test. ugh. how many days until i'm done again? i can't wait until summer! i'm babysitting all day, weekdays this summer but it's totally worth it. i'll make more in a week than i will make in a month working at hy-vee. kinda sad that i've almost worked there 3 years and i barely make enough to pay my mother for my phone bills and other stuff i owe, not to mention having money to go out with friends. anyway, time to hop on that homework, shower, then get my butt in bed! i'm NOT going to have a repeat insomnia session tonight. i hope that you all had a good day! :) peace and blessings. <3

so, it's been a few days since i've written a blog... i know i know... i'm laggin! sorry guys! (slash two people... because i only have two followers). ha, well anyways, my weekend was pretty uneventful. like usual. i hope once i get to college i have more going on. staying home doing nothing makes me feel so damn dumb. i did hang out with my girrrrl shanaynay today. :) and that was fun. like always. that woman makes me laugh like no other. i'm trying really hard not to keep using these elipses... or whatever they're called. (...) i guess my mind is just too tired to really be in a creative thinking mood tonight. i still haven't gotten up to go clean my room and i swore to myself i wouldn't go to bed until it was clean! well, maybe tomorrow i will have more brain juice flowing so i can write a decent blog entry. sorry if you read this hoping for it to be awesome. tomorrow will be better, promise. luh you guys. <3 

eighteen days left.

eighteen. such a great number in my eyes right now! not only my age, but also the number of school days i have left until that big, glorious, wonderful, amazing, spectacular day... GRADUATION! i can't even begin to explain how excited i am to finally be DONE. honestly, i loved high school. best four years of my life thus far. i have had more fun than should really be allowed for a girl growing up BUT... i'm over it now. not the fun part... but high school. i'm to the point where all the little freshman/sophomore dramas are more annoying than entertaining, and paying attention in class is, for all intensive purposes, optional. unless you're failing a class (which i definitely am NOT) we all know we're going to graduate even if we completely bomb the finals. and before you think my grades are slipping, think again yo! i don't even need to pay attention because all the information given in class is stuff we've been covering since 8th grade. as far as the other classes go like astronomy... mr. healey played youtube videos for us half the hour then went off on a ramble about sun spots looking like satan... it's a hard class in case you couldn't tell. anyway... after these last couple weeks roll by it's all smoooooth sailing until college starts. i'm not necessarily nervous, but i'm a little apprehensive. i don't know what to expect. three cheers for being the freshman again... fml! fml! fml! haha, jk it's not that bad. i'm actually really looking forward to the new chapter of my life. i'm excited to live on my own and by my own rules, cook my own food, and decorate my room and bathroom!!! :) teehee, so i'm going to make the most of these last days when my class and i will all be together, because i know i'm going to miss it. to all underclassmen: don't take any day you have with your friends for granted, because even though it's totally stupid and cliche to say it, the time really flies by. peace out for now homies. <3

my first blog entry.

just like in a diary entry, i don't know where to begin. do i introduce myself to my new diary? does it already know who i am? does my diary even care what i have to say? because in all honesty and fairness, my diary has no choice of whether or not to listen to all my ranting and raving. it has to just lay there while i scribble in all my hate notes or my love letters to crushes who will (hopefully!) never see them. for the sake of not writing a novel my first post, i'll just lay it out in simple terms: i have a lot to say and all i want is someone to hear me. and so, dear diary, that is why i ask... can you keep a secret?